Welcome  to 
SELFDEVELOPMENT.Biz JOURNAL
Number  50
I hope you will receive a fortnightly dose of motivation, inspiration, laughter and thought-provoking quotes. If you find yourself bogged down in our competitive, stressful work world, take a few minutes to read and then think about the positive messages you will receive. 
 
1.    Inspirational quotes

2.    Fantastic life force by Joe  Mazzella

3.    Find of the week

4.    Wild Trivia

5.    Metaphor

6.    martinhunterjones ~ Drugs are a reality

7.    Jokes

8.    Motivational

9.    Personal
 No trees were destroyed in the sending of this message.  However, a large number of electrons were significantly inconvenienced

 


 

1. Inspirational Quotes

 

To My Friends FROM Lindsay Duncan

       

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.” ~ Charles Caleb Colton

 

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”       

“Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.” ~ Albert Camus

 

“Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.”

 

“Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life.”

 

 “Friendship is one mind in two bodies.” ~ Mencius

 

 “If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them,           I'd be at the bottom to catch them.”

 

 “Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends         listen to what you don't say.”

 

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” ~ Tim McGraw

 

 “My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends,           then you've had a great life.” ~ Lee Iacocca

 

 “Hold a true friend with both your hands.” ~ Nigerian Proverb

 

 “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.” ~ Unknown

 

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2 FANTASTIC LIFE FORCE by Joseph J. Mazzella

 

God in His infinite wisdom and wonderful love always seems to find a way to share His glorious ideas with my weak and limited mind. I found one such idea staring up at me as I was walking in a nearby town today. It was one of those miraculous out of the blue insights that I no longer question, but just give thanks for instead. What I saw as I walked down the sidewalk was a beautiful sight, but one that is so often ignored by so many of us. It was a single dandelion sticking though the pavement, delightedly holding its head in the sunshine.

What a wondrous life force it must have taken for that tiny, fragile flower to make it through all of those layers of concrete. Still, there it stood triumphing in the energy, vitality, and joy of its existence. That is when I heard the gentle whisper of God’s voice in my mind saying that I too have that life force and that everyone of us here on this world has it as well.

I can remember how that life force flowed through my Mom as she battled cancer in the last four years of her life. During that time she always sought to comfort all of us who loved her.

She shared her kind love, her sweet laughter, and her infectious joy with everyone she met. She lived more in those last four years than many people do in their entire lives. In spite of the tons of pavement that she had to break through, she still bloomed and shared the glorious fragrance of her life and love with us all.

This fantastic life force doesn’t just live in dandelions or special souls like my Mom’s, however. It is here in the hearts, souls, bodies, and minds of all of us. It is a gift from God given with love to everyone. Don’t waste it then. Use it, draw upon it, and feel it flowing through your life. Let it flow through your every smile, hug, laugh, and word. Shine it brightly from your soul. Fill your life with its love and joy. And share its wonder with the world.

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3. Find of the week   

 

A naturopath I go to contributed the following – if you have any health problems Tammi is very helpful and if you just need to feel better try one of her great massages.

 

           PAIN...IS IT ARTHRITIS

 

Dear friends and patients

This newsletter will cover the dreaded pain syndrome. We all probably know someone who suffers from one form of pain or another or you may be suffering from it yourselves.

 

Unfortunately pain in the shoulder, back,  head, hip or just about anywhere is usually put down to “oh its arthritis” and therefore I can’t do anything about it .Well… THAT’S SIMPLY NOT TRUE!

READ ON AND LETS COVER THE MYTHS OF PAIN…

 

The body is an amazing piece of work. It can withstand years and years of abuse, before it starts giving us a sign that we should stop what ever it is we’re doing and if we are wise and cluey enough that’s when we turn to our herbalist/practioner for help. The following things are the type of abuse we do without realising its going to cause pain, discomfort or disease

 

1. Missing breakfast and starting the day off on coffee and biscuits (or god forbid McDonalds or the like)

2. Acidic diet of too much red meat, hormone chicken and the dreaded cow’s milk causes arthritic pain and fertility problems in your early years for guys and gals

3. Not enough fruit and vegetables in the diet

4. Not enough clean filtered or pure water

5. Refined sugar and carbohydrates… white sugar, cakes, lollies, biscuits, ice creams, white bread etc.. you guys know what I mean

Mind you it’s not only diet that can cause pain read on…

6. Resentment, an on going anger, unfulfilling relationship, continual arguments at work or at home

7. Workaholics who make no time for fun and leisure

8. Too much alcohol, the daily drinking syndrome which has become the norm for the everyday Australian (at the cost of our health)

9. Soft drinks leech calcium from bone and make them thin, soft and breakable

10. Getting enough exercise is vital for healthy mind and body no matter what your age. Find what’s good for you, swimming (preferably in the sea), power walking, gym, tennis or dancing (my favourite) take up lessons with a loved one. Start off slow then build it up to at least an hour every day YES every day. It will keep those bones as strong as steal till the day you die and your heart will stay as healthy as a horse.

11. Coffee, alcohol, sweets, bread, too much dairy and red meats are all acid producing and hence cause pain.

12. Regular massage is crucial, the body was not meant to soldier on If your like most of us you probably work too hard and don’t get enough rest and exercise so a regular massage will keep you in good nick. And smooth out all those aches and pains.

13. Chilli, garlic, onion, ginger are important to flush toxic build up in the joints, eat it daily and have plenty of ginger tea.

 

 I guess the list can go on and on but that’s the gest of it. Hopefully my newsletter will bring you good ideas on how to improve your health and those of your loved ones for 2005 and beyond

 

Till next time, yours truly

Tammy  Safi  copyright 2005-01-21

Greenacre Natural Therapies

63 Noble Ave 2190 NSW    97094265

 

 


 

4. Wild Trivia 

 

Want to be healthy? Tuck into hot Indian curry! Indo-Asian News Service. London, January 22 If you want to stay healthy, tuck into a hot Indian curry.

 

Experts claim that spicy dishes can help battle a range of illnesses, including Alzheimer's disease.

 

Tikkas and vindaloos can also soothe asthma and coughs, and researchers say they even help yoga fans, because they help to stretch muscle ligaments.

 

Scientists have found that curcumin - an extract of curry powder ingredient turmeric - is a "natural antibiotic".

 

A team from the University of California in Los Angeles believes that curries reduce the number of amyloid plaques, a sticky build-up that knots around brains cells causing Alzheimer's.

 

The experts claim that yellow spice turmeric can cut the number of these plaques by up to half. The findings may explain why rates of Alzheimer's are much lower among the elderly in India than in the West.

 

New drugs based on the extract could be used to prevent the disease in the future.

 

Researcher Sally Frautschy confirmed that the compound had potential, especially when used together with existing anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen.

 

A spokesman for the Alzheimer's Society said: "Turmeric is found in everything from mild kormas to the hottest vindaloos. The crucial chemical is curcumin.

 

"It is an excellent natural antibiotic but it could be many years before such drugs are made widely available."

 

Curry spices have other benefits. Experts say they aid digestion and help fight off infections. Turmeric also helps to lower cholesterol and cut fatty deposits in the arteries.

 

 Thanks CarolanneP

 

****************

* Thousands of years ago birthdays were considered a time when the bad spirits as opposed to the good spirits were able to harm you as this day changed a person's life. It was believed that the only way to keep the bad spirits at bay was to have your friends and family around you so that their good wishes and present giving would keep them at bay.

 

* Also noisemakers are thought to be used at parties as a way of scaring away the evil spirits.

 

* The custom of lighting candles originated with people believing that the gods lived in the sky and by lighting candles and torches they were sending a signal or prayer to the gods so they could be answered. When you blow out the candles and make a wish this is another way of sending a signal and a message.

 

* One theory about the origin of the birthday cake is that it originated with the Greeks, who baked round cakes rep- resenting the full moon for their moon goddess, Artemis. They placed candles on the cake to make it glow, like the moon.

 

* The Germans are also credited with the first cakes and candles. They used a sweet, layered cake and they put a large candle in the centre of the cake to represent "the light of life." Some people believe the smoke from extinguished candles carries their birthday wishes up to heaven.

 

* One of the most fun birthday favours has sort of a stomach turning beginning (there's a double entendre in there). The first balloons are believed to have been children's toys, made from animal bladders and/or intestines, often filled with water. The Aztecs used to blow air into the bowels of sacrificed cats and twisted them into animal shapes and presented these to the gods as a sacrifice.

 

European jesters and troubadours were said to sometimes inflate the entrails of recently butchered animals and "entertain" with them. This is where the association of modern day balloons with celebrations is thought to have originated.

 

Toy balloons were introduced by pioneer rubber manufacturer Thomas Hancock.

 

* The Happy Birthday song is more than one hundred years old. It was written in 1893 by two sisters, Patty and Mildred Hill, who were schoolteachers in Louisville, Kentucky. The tune was originally a morning greeting to their students entitled "Good Morning To All." The lyrics were copyrighted in 1935, 11 years before Patty's death, and the ownership has swapped hands in multi-million dollar deals ever since. The current copyright is owned by Warner Communications (now Time Warner). They purchased it in 1989 for more than $22 million dollars.

 

Happy Birthday is recognized around the world and has been translated into dozens of languages. It is one of the three most popular songs in the English language.

 

The birth stones tradition can be traced back to the first century. The stones were used in the breastplate of Jewish High Priests. The breast plate full of stones, symbolized 12 Israel tribes. Each stone was dedicated to one of the 12 months.

 

See what your birth month represents by month, flower, stone and its meaning, and colours associated with the month.

 

* January

Carnation, Snowdrop

Garnet, Emerald, Rose Quartz.

Loyalty, Constancy

Black, Dark Blue, Dark Red

 

* February

Violet, Primrose

Amethyst, Bloodstone, Onyx, Moonstone.

Sincerity

Light Blue, Yellow and purple

 

March

Jonquil, Violet

Aquamarine, Bloodstone, Jade, Rock Crystal.

Courage

White, Light Blue

 

* April

Sweet Pea, Daisy

Diamond, Opal, Quartz, White Sapphire.

Innocence

Yellow, Red and colourless

 

* May

Lily of the Valley, Hawthorne

Emerald, Sapphire, Agate, Chrysoprase, Beryl.

Success in Love

Yellow, Red and green

 

* June

Rose

Pearl, Moonstone, Alexandrite, Agate, Opal.

Good Health

Light Blue, White and cream

* July

Delphinium, Larkspur, Water Lily

Ruby, Carnelian.

Happiness, Contented Mind

Green, Russet and red

 

* August

Gladiolus, Poppy

Sardonyx, Peridot, Diamond, Jade, Sapphire.

Friendship,

Conjugal Felicity

Orange, Red and light green

 

* September

Aster, Morning Glory

Sapphire, Agate, Moonstone, Lapis Lazuli, Diamond, Chrsolite.

Shrewdness, Love, Clear Thinking

Brown, deep blue

 

* October

Marigold, Calendula, Cosmos

Opal, Tourmaline, Jasper, Zircon, Aquamarine.

Hope

White, Yellow

 

* November

Chrysanthemum

Citrine, Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Topaz, Diamond.

Fidelity, Faithfulness

Dark Blue, Red and yellow

 

* December

Daffodil, Narcissus, Holly

Blue Topaz, Turquoise, Zircon, Lapis Lazuli, Onyx, Ruby.

Prosperity

Indigo, Green, greenish-blue

 


5. Metaphor

 

THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE

 

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come and see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. Going and coming took most of a day, and I honestly did not have a free day until the following week.

 

"I will come next Tuesday,” I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call.

 

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove the length of Route 91, continued on I-215, and finally turned onto Route 18 and began to drive up the mountain highway. The tops of the mountains were sheathed in clouds, and I had gone only a few miles when the road was completely covered with a wet, grey blanket of fog. I slowed to a crawl, my heart pounding. The road becomes narrow and winding toward the top of the mountain. As I executed the hazardous turns at a snail's pace, I was praying to reach the turnoff at Blue Jay that would signify I had arrived. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these darling children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

 

My daughter smiled calmly," We drive in this all the time, Mother."

 

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her. "I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car. The mechanic just called, and they've finished repairing the engine," she answered. "How far will we have to drive?" I asked cautiously. "Just a few blocks," Carolyn said cheerfully. So we buckled up the children and went out to my car. "I'll drive," Carolyn offered. "I'm used to this." We got into the car, and she began driving. In a few minutes I was aware that we were back on the Rim-of-the-World road heading over the top often mountain.

 

"Where are we going?" I exclaimed, distressed to be back on the mountain road in the fog. "This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils." "Carolyn," I said sternly, trying to sound as if I was still the mother and in charge of the situation, "please turn around. There is nothing in the world that I want to see enough to drive on this road in this weather." "It's all right, Mother," She replied with a knowing grin. "I know what I'm doing. I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

 

And so my sweet, darling daughter who had never given me a minute of difficulty in her whole life was suddenly in charge and she was kidnapping me! I couldn't believe it. Like it or not, I was on the way to see some ridiculous daffodils driving through the thick, grey silence of the mist-wrapped mountaintop at what I thought was risk to life and limb. I muttered all the way. After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road that branched down into an oak-filled hollow on the side of the mountain. The fog had lifted a little, but the sky was lowering, grey and heavy with clouds. We parked in a small parking lot adjoining a little stone church. From our vantage point at the top of the mountain we could see beyond us, in the mist, the crests of the San Bernardino range like the dark, humped backs of a herd of elephants. Far below us the fog-shrouded valleys, hills, and flatlands stretched away to the desert. On the far side of the church I saw a pine-needle-covered path, with towering evergreens and manzanita bushes and an inconspicuous, hand-lettered sign “Daffodil Garden."

 

We each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path as it wound through the trees. The mountain sloped away from the side of the path in irregular dips, folds, and valleys, like a deeply creased skirt. Live oaks, mountain laurel, shrubs, and bushes clustered in the folds, and in the grey, drizzling air, the green foliage looked dark and monochromatic. I shivered. Then we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped.

 

Before me lay the most glorious sight, unexpectedly and completely splendid. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes where it had run into every crevice and over every rise. Even in the mist-filled air, the mountainside was radiant, clothed in massive drifts and waterfalls of daffodils. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-coloured variety (I learned later that there were more than thirty-five varieties of daffodils in the vast display) was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.

 

In the centre of this incredible and dazzling display of gold, a great cascade of purple grape hyacinth flowed down like a waterfall of blossoms framed in its own rock-lined basin, weaving through the brilliant daffodils. A charming path wound throughout the garden. There were several resting stations, paved with stone and furnished with Victorian wooden benches and great tubs of coral and carmine tulips. As though this were not magnificence enough, Mother Nature had to add her own grace note, above the daffodils, a bevy of western bluebirds flitted and darted, flashing their brilliance. These charming little birds are the colour of sapphires with breasts of magenta red. As they dance in the air, their colours are truly like jewels above the blowing, glowing daffodils. The effect was spectacular. It did not matter that the sun was not shining. The brilliance of the daffodils was like the glow of the brightest sunlit day. Words, wonderful as they are, simply cannot describe the incredible beauty of that flower-bedecked mountaintop. Five acres of flowers! (This too I discovered later when some of my questions were answered.) "But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn. I was overflowing with gratitude that she brought me -- even against my will. This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. "Who?" I asked again, almost speechless with wonder, "and how, and why, and when?"

 

"It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house, my mind buzzing with questions. On the patio we saw a poster. “Answers to the Questions I Know You are asking" was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman, two hands, two feet, and very little brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."Âh There it was. The Daffodil Principle.

 

For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. One bulb at a time. There was no other way to do it. One bulb at a time. No shortcuts, simply loving the slow process of planting. Loving the work as it unfolded. Loving an achievement that grew so slowly and that bloomed for only three weeks of each year. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world. This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principle of celebration: learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time, often just one baby-step at a time, learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.  "Carolyn," I said that morning on the top of the mountain as we left the haven of daffodils, our minds and hearts still bathed and bemused by the splendours we had seen, "it's as though that remarkable woman has needle-pointed the earth! Decorated it. Just think of it, she planted every single bulb for more than thirty years. One bulb at a time! And that's the only way this garden could be created. Every individual bulb had to be planted. There was no way of short-circuiting that process. Five acres of blooms. That magnificent cascade of hyacinth! All, all, just one bulb at a time."

 

The thought of it filled my mind. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the implications of what I had seen. "It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

 

My wise daughter put the car into gear and summed up the message of the day in her direct way.

 

"Start tomorrow," she said with the same knowing smile she had worn for most of the morning.

 

Oh, profound wisdom! It is pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use tomorrow?"


6. Life matters

 

Drugs are a reality

Humans have been using drugs purposefully since the beginning of time. Drugs change the way life is experienced. Some drugs are used to alter the physical. There are also many psychotropic drugs that alter the way life is experienced by the mind.

 

Throughout our human history each culture has had it’s authorised mind altering drugs. Currently in Australia the legitimate drugs are alcohol and tobacco. Despite the fact that the side effects of these two drugs are amongst the most debilitating, dangerous and potentially deadly you can access them legally everywhere.

 

Even the most righteous and upstanding citizens use these drugs openly without concerns for their reputation. Indeed the Prime Minister holds a stock of publicly purchased wine to ensure the expectations of his important guests are met.

 

Drugs themselves are not the problem. The problem is that whilst drugs alter the users experience of reality in a way that feels attractive to them, reality remains largely as it was when the effects of the substance wear off.

 

This is fine if the reality is sufficiently rewarding to remain in. If not, the temptation to return to the substance inspired experience can be strong. This can become an insidious trap as reality’s challenges mature when the users fitness for said challenges does not.

 

Further to this reality demands attention, and avoiding it will require increasingly higher doses of drugs, raising in turn their concomitant side effects.

 

The solution to this addictive trap does not lie in prohibition. It just doesn’t work to force people to do anything. All behaviour is purposeful and to criticize and marginalize this self destructive behaviour simply stops the potential for positive communication making a difficult return to reality even harder.

 

People who use drugs, be they legal or illegal, are humans deserving of humanity. Their worst behaviours can be intolerable both to themselves and the community that includes them, however it is the behaviours not the people that are problematic.

 

Perhaps as a community we ought to spend our solution oriented energies on making reality more attractive and supportive through interaction and information so people who use drugs can make more empowered, positive and long lasting decisions for them selves.

 

Martin Hunter Jones is President of the NSW Counselling Association and Honorary Life Member of the Australian Counselling Association and has a practice on the Northern Beaches. Phone 9973 4997.

 

 


 


7. Jokes

 

 

CHRISTIAN ONE LINERS
Don't let your worries get the best of you, remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited - until you try to sit in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation leans on the bell.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."
If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead.  So why should you?
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.
Be ye fishers of men.  You catch them - He'll clean them.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

 I really relate to some of these..............Lyn Macintosh

FOR THOSE OF US WHO TAKE LIFE SERIOUSLY
 
 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
 2. A day without sunshine is like. . . . night.
 3. On the other hand . . . you have different fingers.
 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
 5. Remember half the people you know are below average.
 6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
 8. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
 9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
10. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
11. I intend to live forever---so far so good.
12. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
13. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
14. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
15. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
16. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
17. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
18. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
20. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
21. The trouble with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
22.A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
23. Change is inevitable . . . except from a vending machine.
24. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
25. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
26. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Q:How long did Thomas Edison live?  

        

                   A:His whole life.    

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

  A very elderly gentleman (mid nineties), very well dressed, and hair well groomed, great   looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.  Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).

 

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and   says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

 

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

  An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

 

He went to the doctor, and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

 

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect.  Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."  The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet.  I just sit around and listen to the conversations.  I've changed my will 3 times!"

   * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

 A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.

 

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini."

 

The giant nodded.

 

"If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"

 

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

 

"Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."

 

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest.



 

 

J.  

 

8. Motivational 

LESSONS FROM THE COURT