I hope you will receive a fortnightly
dose of motivation, inspiration, laughter and thought-provoking quotes. If you
find yourself bogged down in our competitive, stressful work world, take a few
minutes to read and then think about the positive messages you will
receive.
1. Inspirational Quotes
2. Short Stories by Joe Mazzella ~ Time
Flies & Joy
3. Find of the week
4. Wild
Trivia
5. Metaphor
6. Ken
Warren - Argument Busters
7. The One Word Wonder
8. Jokes
9. Motivational
No trees were destroyed in the
sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were
significantly inconvenienced
http://www.selfdevelopment.biz/selfdevelopment_017.htm
Our list is growing and I
would like it to grow lots bigger. So please forward it on to a friend and ask
them to subscribe.
Please also check out our website www.SelfDevelopment.Biz
as
This book grew out of our deep desire to uplift, inspire and motivate
our clients. We believe that every soul has a purpose and part of that purpose
is to learn, grow and enjoy the process (self-development). To the extent that
we flow in alignment with our soul’s purpose, life increasingly becomes more gratifying, fulfilled and
prosperous. A soul without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.
And lastly our Self Development - E-book of 1001 Inspirational Quotes is finished!!!
1. Inspirational Quotes
Thanks
Mum & Dad
I've learned.... That life is like a
roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we
ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so
spectacular.
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be
appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think
I can?
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only
letting that person continue to hurt
you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me
to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet
deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies
and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned.... That life is tough, but
I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones
you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbour
bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned... That I wish I could
have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep
his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an
inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do
about it.
I've learned.... That when your newly born child holds your little finger in
his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone
wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs
while you're climbing it.
I've learned ... That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when
it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation. ! !
I've learned.... That the less time I
have to work with, the more things I get done.
Wisdom from Grandpa
Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the
kind of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that
he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one, but the trouble starts when they
try to decide which one.
If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a
thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.
On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past... but never the
present.
A foolish husband remarks to his wife: "Honey, you stick to the washin',
ironin', cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work.
The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.
Many girls like to marry a military man--he can cook, sew, make bed, and is in good
health...and he's already used to taking orders.
Short
Stories By: Joseph J. Mazzella
1. TIME FLIES
It seems that sometime in the last few years I blinked and my kids grew up on me. Where my tiny, little children used to be there now stands a fifteen year old boy and a thirteen year old girl both almost as tall as I am. Even my youngest is now ten and getting larger everyday. I guess that it seems like this because I can still remember vividly every bit of their young lives. I can remember holding each of them as a newborn baby in my arms. I can remember the first steps that each one took and the delighted smiles on their faces as they walked. I can remember children’s games like tag and hide and seek. I can remember reading to them while they sat on my lap. I can remember their first bikes and teaching them to ride. I can remember making snowmen, snow angels, and having snowball fights in the winter. I can remember swimming at the pool and playing at the playground in the summer. I can remember raking huge piles of leaves and jumping joyfully into them in the fall. I can also remember their problems, frustrations, illnesses, and injuries. I can look back on it all and remember it all. And if asked if I would do it all over again, I would answer: "Yes I would, but I would enjoy it even more."
This time we get here on Earth doesn’t last
long. The moments, days, and years fly by so fast. There is barely enough time
to learn to love the way God meant for us to before it is over. Make a promise
to yourself now then to enjoy it even more. Don’t get so caught up in your day
to day life that you forget what is essential. Take every moment you are given
and fill it with love, joy, goodness, and God. Grab every chance you can to
share that love and joy with those around you. Use every second you have to
bring peace and happiness into your soul and to give your delight, goodness,
and oneness with God to the world. Remember time flies, but love is forever.
2. Joy
The great Leo Buscaglia once told a story about
what the ancient Egyptians believed about the afterlife. They believed that
they would be asked two questions that would determine whether or not they
could continue their journey into paradise. The first was, "Did you find
joy?" and the second was, "Did you bring joy?" If you ask me
those two questions still apply today.
We humans, after all, are meant for joy. It
is our birthright. If we can’t find a thousand things each day to be joyful
about and grateful for then we are probably not living our lives as fully and
as openly as we could. If we can’t find countless ways each day to bring joy
into our lives and the lives of others then we are probably not living the way
God meant for us to live. God loves us all and wants more than anything for us
to be joyous in this life we are given. We are here to learn to love. We are
here to choose love, to share love, and to give love without expecting anything
in return. We are here to fill our heart to overflowing with love. And Love is
Joy!
Make sure then that when you do pass from
this world that you can answer a definite Yes! to both questions. Look to find
joy where ever you go and in whatever you do. See it shining in a baby’s
smiling face. Hear it in the musical laughter of children. Find it in family,
friendship, learning, books, music, nature, and animals. Recognize it in every
hug you receive, kind word you hear, and miracle you are blessed with. Notice
it in the smiling man in the moon and the robin splashing in your birdbath.
Fill yourself full of this God-given joy and then bring it to the world. Share
God’s joy through your smile, kindness, laughter, goodness, caring, giving,
helping, and loving. Make this world a better place because of the joy you
found and the joy you shared.
3. Find of the week
www.alexgrey.com Website with some wonderful paintings by
Alex Grey for those of you interested in EFT.
Thy name is Clutter
It arose one morning
from the bowels of my desk, a formless mass that spread and covered itself over
anything I was looking for. "Who are you?" I asked.
"I am Clutter," the mass answered, "and I am here to
confound your life. I am the things you refuse to throw out though you haven't
used them in six years, the miscellaneous papers, phone numbers, business
cards, you accumulate and don't put away. I am the
inevitable manifestation of your sloppiness. I am Clutter."
I grabbed Clutter and moved it from one end of the desk to the other. Clutter
chortled. That's my favourite pastime. Moving from one end of the desk to the
other. "What do you want?" I asked.
"To frustrate you. I will resist all attempts to remove me, reduce
me, or otherwise eliminate me. It's my purpose to hide whatever important piece
of paper you need, whichever phone number you must call."
"I'm throwing you out," I stormed. Clutter shook his untidy
mass sadly, as in pity.
"Not without looking me through me to see if there's anything you
really need," Clutter answered. "the odds are slim, but you won't
take that chance. And while your sorting through me, I'll re-form in
another pile."
"But you'll be smaller, more manageable."
"Not really. You'll decide to keep 90% of me, as you always do. And
soon, new papers, numbers, documents will gather, making me more obstructive
than ever."
"You won't ruin my life, Clutter! I'll start a filing system! Put
bits of you where you belong." Clutter gazed at me contemptuously.
"The last time you tried that, you created my cousins, Chaos and Disorder.
It'll never work."
Clutter had me and I knew it. Attempts in the past to file things alphabetically
had only created 26 piles of mess instead of one. I was desperate, so I decided
to bluff. "I'll take a time management course," I threatened.
Clutter quite rightly ignored my remark. I wasn't dealing with an idiot, after
all. "Then I'll buy a computer and store you on my floppy disks!"
"And within a month your disk-filing system will be in total
disarray, plus you'll have another pile
of papers waiting to be entered onto disks. Face it, you can't win.
Exasperated, I ran to the closet. "I'm getting some air."
Clutter had been to the closet before me. Shoes were scattered, shirts were
unhung, and clumps of pants and underwear lay strewn next to towels and a lawn
chair. Socks congealed in small piles, looking like the waste product of some
nylon-eating monster. Cliff notes from A Tale of Two Cities lay atop the
heater.
"Clutter," I yelled. "You have crippled my productivity
for the last time. No longer will I be late, no more will I miss appointments,
never again shall I be overwhelmed by your size and withdraw into reading old
magazines. I am going out to the store to buy a paper shredder."
I looked around for a long moment. "Now where did I leave my keys?"
Clutter burped.
*********************************************************************
For all you lexiophiles (lovers of words)
1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that
votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a
26. When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30.
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK ALONE
If everyone who gets this sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we'll save at least one life.
Let's say its
However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and
very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough. The cough
must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the
chest. And a cough must be repeated about every 2 seconds without let up until
help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be
beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze
the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain
normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as
many other people as possible about this, it could save their lives!
From Health Cares, Rochester
General
Hospital via Chapter 240s
newsletter AND THE BEAT
GOES ON (reprint from The
Mended Hearts, Inc. publication,
Heart Response)
How to keep Spiders Away
It's hard to kill spiders because they don't lick their bodies like
ants and other insects so they don't absorb insecticides. But they won't walk
over sharp things. I have been successful finally after trying many things. The
secret is Epsom salts! It has sharp crystals! Just pour it on windowsills and
doors, inside and out. Rain will wash it away, just reapply.
It's CHEAP, comes in a milk type carton, easy to use, and it WORKS!!!
I heard about two
computers who got married and had a baby. The first word it said was “Data.”
Sorry about that, but it leads into a question I recently received: “What are
the most important rules to follow when communicating on the internet?”
There are dozens of
“Netiquette” guidelines for good manners on the World Wide Web. Here are five
that should be at the top of the list.
1. Don’t type in all
capital letters - it means you are SHOUTING!
2. Never be guilty of
“spamming” - sending unsolicited posts or email.
3. Don’t forward or
post someone’s email message without the author’s permission. Personal messages
must remain personal.
4. Never insult someone
publicly by “flaming” – expressing strong opinion or criticizing. If you must
flame, do it privately with a one-to-one email message.
5. Practice the “Golden
Rule” of netiquette – “Respect the human.” In other words, remember that you
are not dealing with an impersonal robot somewhere “our there,” but a real
person with feelings and emotions.
Treating others with honour,
dignity and respect must extend far beyond face-to-face communication. It
includes the relationships you develop in cyberspace.
At a recent luncheon
with friends, the topic surfaced about someone who quit his job on short
notice. The fellow who knew the details were asked, “Well, what did he say was
the reason?”
“I’m sorry, but he
talked to me in strict confidence,” my friend replied.
The topic quickly
changed, but I thought about that meeting later. If I ever needed someone to
talk with, where would I turn? I would likely gravitate toward the person who
knew how to keep his mouth shut. In fact, my opinion of this gentleman’s character
grew immensely when he spoke that one sentence about confidentiality.
Some people think its
fun to gossip, yet they quickly gain a reputation as someone who can’t be
trusted. If you want to raise your status among colleagues, here are four rules
to follow.
1. Never betray a
confidence.
2. Steer the
conversation toward important ideas rather than about people.
3. Ask at least four
questions for every answer you give.
4. End every
conversation on a note of optimism about the future.
You’ll be surprised at
the growing number of people who will request the pleasure of your company.
–
Neil Eskelin
Have A Banana
Courtesy
of Helen C.
If
you want a quick fix for flagging energy levels there's no better snack than a
banana. Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose -
combined with fibre; a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost
of energy.
Research
has proved that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous
90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the
world's leading athletes. But energy
isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or
prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions making it a must to add
to your daily diet.
Ease
Congestion
If
congested, slip into a warm bath scented with 6 drops of lavender oil, 6 drops
of eucalyptus oil, or a few tea bags of hops to ease your misery. The lavender
and hops relaxes your aching muscles and the eucalyptus opens up your nasal
passages
Catch the Winds of Spirit
Metaphors
can help us grasp abstract concepts. Let's consider how a sailboat can mirror
life for us.
Picture
yourself living on a beautiful, sleek sailboat, bobbing on the ocean of life.
Early in our lives we have many anchors in the water at once. The anchors lie
so deep in the water (our subconscious mind) that we don't even know they are
there. These anchors – limiting beliefs, ineffective habits, and unconscious reactions
- hold us back in life.
At
some point, we begin to realize we're not getting anywhere. We're basically
stuck in one spot - we only move in circles. And so we begin to search for
what's holding us back. As we release the negatives, compulsions and patterns
in our lives, we pull up the anchors and begin to move forward.
We've
never travelled into new territory before and so we proceed cautiously, powered
only by the boat's engine. It takes skill to pilot a boat - to chart a course
and to stay on track. As we build up our basic skills of goal setting,
communication, time management, awareness, etc., we become more competent at
getting where we want to go.
If
we choose, we can spend our whole lives motoring around by the power of the
boat's engine. OR we can bring a captain on board to show us how to fully
utilize the potential of our vessel. When our ego asks for guidance from the
soul, we learn to raise and trim the sails to catch the powerful winds of
spirit. With the soul's expert navigation, we truly become the captain of our
own ship. Our horizons expand. Our journey is more joyful.
So
our life journey really begins when we get rid of a few big anchors and start
taming the ego so we can begin to move ahead. If we're willing to be coached by
the soul, we can work in all directions at once - pulling up the anchors,
manning the rudder so we stay on course and trimming the sails. Know that the
winds of spirit are ALWAYS blowing. But we need to be aware and conscious to
take full advantage of them.
Train
to become captain of your own ship. Learn to navigate easily and joyfully
through the vast ocean of life.
For
details on 19 GROW yourself programs, visit
http://snipurl.com/Workbooks
About
the Authors: John Robson and Patrice Steen offer tools and paths for meaningful
growth at their excellent website. Surf over and check out their online
courses, daily email coaching and FREE newsletter for personal fulfilment at: http://chetday.com/cgi-bin/pl.cgi?ha
6. Argument Busters
by Ken Warren
The strategies below can be used to interrupt conflict patterns at any time. Try some small experiment in changing your own behaviour or responses. Notice what helps and do more of what works for you. Remember that relapse into familiar patterns is normal and it is persistence and practice that will bring about lasting change. Add your own ideas to this list and keep it nearby where you can refer to it.
Before an argument starts
• Warn the other person if you are feeling frustrated, stressed or tired
• Cut the other person some slack if they are feeling this way and don’t try to give them negative feedback at this time or when they are intoxicated
• Distract your attention away from what you are stressing about
• Ask yourself if it is really that important
• Release any tension through deep breathing, talking with a support person, through exercise, or engaging in an interest or passion
• Think before you speak “Will what I am about to do or say help or hurt this relationship”
• Tell yourself that “The problem is likely to be with me” and consider changes you can make with what you are doing and thinking
During an argument
• Don’t add ‘fuel to the fire’ through criticising, blaming, exploding, withdrawing or dwelling excessively on the past (except when your partner needs empathy about the past)
• Remember that is it is more important to understand than it is to be understood
• Remind yourself that there is more than one way to see a situation
• Acknowledge the other person’s perspective and their feelings
• If they are upset with you, apologise sincerely wherever you can for your part of the argument, for how your behaviour came across, or for the misunderstanding
• Agree wherever you can, if not for what they are saying, then for what they are wanting
• Share your own opinion respectfully (after you have first shown understanding) by saying, “This is how I see it …” and have as laid-back a tone of voice as possible
• Be specific about what you want or would prefer, rather than what you don’t want
• Offer a compromise or something for the future that involves effort just by you or by both of you. When a compromise or offer is accepted, make sure that you do what you said
• Do something unexpected (that is safe and respectful) such as humour, a loving touch, etc
• If required, exit and wait till you or both of you are in a better frame of mind to talk. This works best if agreed by both parties beforehand and there is an agreement about a specific time when you will talk about the relevant issue
After an argument
• Whatever you normally do to make up, do it sooner
• Remember to apologise wherever you can or consider trying some creative ways of making up, such as, a letter, singing your apology, or even an apology using a pet or sock puppet as a prop
• Offer your understanding of their perspective and feelings
• Ask the other person if they want a hug, or a loving touch on the arm or hand
• Ask them what the best way is that you can make amends and do what they ask if you can
• Offer something for the future that is also considerate of the other person’s wants/needs
• Discuss what you can learn from this and what you both did that helped
• Agree on a time you will talk about any outstanding issues and reach an understanding
• If required, consider using another person who you both respect to help resolve the issue
Upcoming workshops with
Ken Warren
Counselling Normal and
Complicated Grief
Managing and Resolving
Conflict
For further information,
registration forms, and details of Ken's Training Programs, please visit the
Workshops page of www.counsel.com.au .
Ken Warren BA, M Soc Sc,
CPC, MACA (clinical) Counsellor and Trainer
31-33 Plaza Parade
Maroochydore Qld
Telephone: (07) 5443 7626
Facsimile: (07) 5443 9638
Email:
Website: www.counsel.com.au
7 The One Word Wonder
Can
one word change your life? It can if it's the right word used at the right
time, and today I'm going to let you in on a one word wonder that's been the
secret success tool used by millions of successful people throughout history.
This
simple, two-letter word helps you take control of your activities, your time,
and your life. Using this word shows everyone that you are the master of your
fate, in control of your destiny.
It's
one of the most powerful words in the world and its found (in some form) in
every language you can imagine. It's one of earliest words we hear as children,
and because of this, it's a word that we grow to dislike it, which is why most
people have a hard time using it effectively later in life.
So,
what is this mysterious, magical word that's filled with such power?
The
word is "no".
Now,
"no", on it's own, could get the job done most of the time, but
people bristle when they hear the word. They react to it just like they did
when they were young, they ask that dreaded follow-up question, "Why
not?"
It's
that "why not" that keeps most folk from saying "no" more
often than they do.
Rather
than just saying no, we try to be polite, considerate, accommodating. We end up
dancing around the "no" that popped into mind when we first heard the
question: "Well, hmmm... You see, the thing is -- that is, I think I've
got - y'know, I really don't know what my schedule is
like,
but I guess, ah, er, I could move some things, I suppose, but...." Before
long, we've stumbled away from the "no" in our minds to the "yes"
on our lips and we're stuck doing things that we don't really want to do.
It's
a terrible thing to do to such an important, commanding word. Here are some
ways of saying "no" to help you avoid stumbling over your
"no's" into "yes's"...
Always
keep your no's up front, where they belong. As in "No, thank you," or
"No, I won't be going."
If
a simple "no" won't work, add a short explanation. For example:
"No, that's not something I would do." Or "No, I'm really not
interested in that." Or, "No, my schedule is full and I don't feel
like changing it right now."
If
the person persists with the request, simply reiterate and reinforce your
original answer without further explanation: "No, I can't do that."
Or, "NO, it's not possible for me. Thank you for understanding."
Should
they continue pushing you, come right out and ask them, "Is 'no' an option
here?" If they say that it is, a gentle, "Then my answer is no,
please don't ask me again."
Of
course, if "no" is NOT an option, then "yes" is not a choice.
You weren't really being asked if you could do X, you were being told. Either
way, you've cleared up whether or not you have a choice in the matter.
If
your answer is "no" but you are willing to help/assist in some other
way, include that in your answer: "No, I don't have the time to be a full
board member, but I would be willing to serve on a committee." Or,
"No, I can't do that now, but if it can wait until next week..."
It's
safer to say "no" right away, but some people just *can't* seem to
say no when they are face to face with someone. If that's you, use the
"think and wait" approach... "Let me think about it and I'll
[call you after lunch/email you in the morning/etc.]. My first response is
'no,' but I'm not sure..." Then you call or email them with your answer: "I
thought about it and I'll have to say no." This is NOT the best way to get
to "no," but if you struggle saying it at all, it's a useful way of
warming yourself up to the idea.
Sure,
there are other simple, powerful words that we can use to radically change our
lives, but none seem to be as charged or as difficult to use as the word
"no." The more we use it (when we really mean it), the more control
we exert over all the facets of our lives and the clearer we become on what we
will and will not do on our path to success.
So
get out there, get going, and remember: just say no.
8.
Jokes
This
guy sees a sign in front of a house ~ "Talking Dog for
He
rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy
goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.
"You
talk?" he asks.
"Yep,"
the mutt replies.
"So,
what's your story?"
The
mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I
wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time
they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and
world leader, 'cuz no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of
their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired
me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work,
mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some
incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess
of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The
guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says "Ten dollars."
The
guy says he'll buy him but asks the owner, "This dog is amazing. Why on
earth are you selling him for $10?"
The
owner replies, "He's such a liar."
Thanks Margot Cuthbert
Jesus and Satan were
having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been
going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going
to set up a test which will take two
hours and I will judge who does the better
job."
So Satan and Jesus sat
down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They sent faxes.
They sent Emails.
They sent out Emails
with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did some genealogy
reports.
They made cards.
They did every known
job. But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across
the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went
off.
Satan stared at his
blank screen and screamed in every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally
flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching
frantically screaming, "It’s gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when
the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus
quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours. Satan
observed this and became even more irate.
"Wait! He cheated!
How did he do it??!!"
God shrugged and said,
"Jesus Saves."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9. Motivational
What
Keeps You From Living Your Dreams?
Column
By Lisa Jimenez
Albert
Camus, a famous author and philosopher, once applied names to the previous
centuries. He named the seventeenth century as the century of math. The
eighteenth was the century of physical. The nineteenth was the century of biology.
Then, he shocked the public by naming the twentieth century the century of
fear.
Along
with this bold statement, came that of philosopher and poet, W.H. Auden. He
called our time, "The Age of Anxiety."
Newspaper
columnist Ann Landers was once asked, "Out of all the thousands of letters
you receive each month, what problem is most dominate in people's lives?"