Welcome to our
SELF
DEVELOPMENT JOURNAL
number
32
I
hope you will receive a fortnightly dose of motivation, inspiration, laughter
and thought-provoking quotes. If you find yourself bogged down in our
competitive, stressful work world, take a few minutes to read and then think
about the positive messages you will receive.
- Inspirational
Quotes
- Short Story
by Joe Mazzella
- Find of
the week - Ken Warren
- Wild Trivia
- Metaphor
- Finding The
- Jokes
- Motivational
Count your blessings, not your problems. Never be afraid to try
something new.
Live, Laugh, Love and Always Enjoy Life.
Love
Lyndall
1. Inspirational Quotes
"When people are free to do as they
please, they usually imitate each other." - Eric Hoffer
"What some people mistake for the high
cost of living is really the cost of high living." -Doug Larson
Thanks
If you have trouble getting your children's
attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it
once did to educate his father.
“They say such nice things about people at
their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by
just a few days.” - Garrison Keillor
A teacher was winding up a discussion in
her fourth grade class on the importance of curiosity. Teacher: "Where
would we be today if no one had ever been curious?" Child: "In the
Garden of Eden?"
You don't lose if you get knocked down; you
lose if you stay down.
The reason why people do not obtain success
is because it is disguised as hard work.
Friends are like stars. You may not always
see them but you know they are always there
He that is discontented in one place will
seldom be happy in another. - Aesop
2.
Short Story by Joe Mazzella
(I
came across this storyteller on another website and he has kindly allowed us to
use his lovely stories as a regular part of the newsletter.)
AN OLD WELL
When I was
a small boy my family used to visit my Aunt’s house on warm summer days. While
the adults would gather on the porch we children would run and play in the yard
and on the railroad tracks near her home. We never had to worry about getting
too hot or thirsty, however, because in the middle of the yard was an old well
with a hand pump. We all knew that with just a few cranks of the handle we
would be rewarded with fresh, pure, and sweet water. Even today I can still
remember the taste of that water. It tasted more like a mountain spring than an
old well. Each drink was a joyful blessing to the tongue and soul alike. I have
often met people who remind me of that old well too. With souls both ageless
and forever young they are always ready to refresh anyone who needs them. They
are always freely giving the sweet, pure waters of their love and joy to
countless thirsting hearts. They are always taking in the blessed rains of
goodness that God showers into their lives, storing them deep within their
souls, and then pouring them out again to everyone they meet. The wonderful
author, teacher, and theologian John Powell refers to truly wanting to love as
being willing to be “the town pump which is there for all to use.” Don’t be
afraid to be that town pump then. Don’t be afraid to give the waters of your
love and life to all those who need them. There is no greater happiness in life
than to take that joy and love that lies deep within you and share it with the
world. There is no greater delight than using your God given goodness to
refresh all the thirsty souls around you. Your well of love will never run dry
either. The more love and joy you give to others, the more love and joy God
will shower into your soul to delight in and to share forever.
--
3. Find of the week
I have also come across Ken Warren from Queensland. He is a fellow member of the Australian Counselling Association. He has kindly allowed me to forward the following article of his which I think is excellent. I only wish I was closer and could attend some of his workshops myself, mmm sounds like a excuse to go to Queensland for a bit of a holiday, what do you think?
Coping with Relationship Breakdown
I think that most of us would know that dealing with a relationship breakdown is one of the toughest experiences we can have. The tremendous feelings of devastation and loss are often compounded by hurtful behaviours that precipitated or resulted from the relationship breakdown. Despite the pain, it can be very tempting to hold onto someone who does not want to hold onto us. Just because one feels love for the other or is willing to work at the relationship does not mean the relationship will survive. Ultimately, it takes the efforts of two people for a relationship to work. I sometimes liken the dilemma of holding on to such a relationship as similar to falling off water-skis but holding onto the tow-rope. When you are being dragged under water, you have to let go to gain some relief.
However, letting go of a love relationship does not tend to produce instant relief, but further pain at what has been lost. Often people grieve what was good in the relationship, their lost hopes or plans for what could have been, their loss of their sense of family or easy access to their children, or perhaps the loss of someone who had been their best friend. The pain is overwhelming and it is easy to understand why many consider suicide at such a time. But it is important not to act on such thoughts and feelings. Over time, it is possible to grieve, heal and rebuild one’s life. It is important to trust more in this rather than simply act according to how we are feeling.
Our feelings tend to change as we accept the reality of what we have lost, allow ourselves to grieve, access support, look for the lessons, and overcome the barriers to reinvesting in life. If we do not progress through these tasks, it can become easy to become stuck in our grief, to hold onto someone who does not want to hold onto us, to continue being in love with someone who is moving on with their life. This is surely a recipe for misery.
Apart from accepting the relationship is over and allowing ourselves to feel the pain, it also helps to have appropriate boundaries that help us to maintain a sense of control over one’s own life. These boundaries may include choosing not to be your ex-partner’s support person, limiting the time spent with them, or not allowing physical affection between yourself and your ex-partner. To do so blurs the boundaries and makes letting go or falling out of love all the more difficult.
Though most people state they would like to preserve a friendship with their ex-partner, this is not achievable for all. Even those that do preserve a friendship often have a period of first re-establishing themselves as individuals. It also helps to let go by regularly reminding yourself that you need to let go of the other person, especially when you find yourself wanting to hold on. If your ex-partner is being hurtful, it can be beneficial seeing this as something they are doing that makes it a little easier to let go.
Many couples continue their dispute, arguing over explanations as to why their relationship broke down. When individuals are going in different directions, it is not so important to agree. As we look for the lessons, we tend to come up with our own individual explanations as to why the relationship ended. Although it is fairly common to primarily blame the other person or heavily indulge in self-recrimination, the truth is usually somewhere in-between. Each person shares responsibility for their love relationship and we are each 100% responsible for our own behaviour.
Please contact Ken if you need a speaker for your next team meeting or professional development day.
Ken Warren BA, M Soc Sc, CPC, MACA (clinical) Counsellor and Trainer
31-33 Plaza Parade
Maroochydore Qld 4558
Telephone: (07) 5443 7626 Facsimile: (07) 5443 9638
Visit www.counsel.com.au Email:
Upcoming workshops with Ken Warren
Using Solution-Focused Brief Therapy in Counselling
Managing and Resolving Conflict
4. Wild Trivia
Q. Is it true that music with 60 beats per
minute can aid learning?
A.
Two for the Price of One
It
has to do with investing your time once, but getting two or more benefits out
of that one time investment.
Here
are 6 ideas:
1)
Enjoy your meals, twice.
When
you cook dinner each evening, make enough so that there's enough left over for
tomorrow's lunch. As you're preparing everyone's dinner plates, at the same
time put portions into plastic containers with lids so that they could easily
be popped into the microwave the next day for a hot, satisfying lunch and no
additional work. (Make sure you take them out of the plastic to heat up as it
has been reported that this is really a no-no for your health, only use glass
in the microwave – Lyndall)
2)
Take a walk, with a loved one.
The
most common form of exercise these days is walking. But when you go for that
walk, go with a loved one. It's the perfect time to catch up on each other's
lives, talk about goals, make plans for a trip or just enjoy each other's
company. Walk and talk at the same time.
3)
Consolidate your errands.
We
all have to get gas for the car, go to the supermarket, stop at the post office
and run a bunch of other errands. In general, most of these businesses are in
one area. Yet, so many people drive all the way to the supermarket, and then
drive all the way home. Then, the next day they drive all the way to the post
office, and then drive all the way home. All these back and forth trips are a
waste of time. Consolidate your errands as much as you can. When you go to the
supermarket, get petrol for your car, get the car washed, stop at the post
office, and take care of any other quick errands all in the same trip. You'll
save petrol and time.
4)
Use it twice.
When
you step out of the shower in the morning, and dry yourself off with that
fluffy towel, hang the towel on the towel rod and use it for at least one more
day before washing it. Same goes for your pants and shirts. For instance, I can
usually get at least two wears out of my jeans before washing them, sometimes
even a third wear. Unless you're working in mud, you can most likely do the
same. This drastically cuts down on my laundry volume, which of course is a
huge time-saver. Plus, it also lengthens the life of the towels and clothing.
5)
Eat and read.
Falling
behind on your reading? Use your lunch hour to eat and read at the same time.
Or, you can eat and listen to a book on tape if you prefer.
6)
Call, type or write.
While
you're waiting in the car for your son to finish soccer practice, or in the
doctor's office waiting for your name to be called or anyplace else where
you're waiting, don't just sit there. Make the most out of that time by using
your cell phone to make those calls you've been meaning to get to, doing some
work on your laptop or writing a note to a loved one. When I was called to jury
duty a few years back and had to wait to find out if my name was going to be
called for jury selection, I was able to complete six writing projects in only
two days--time well spent.
P.S
Organize
your kitchen, basement, desk, office, closets and every other room in your home
or life! Better manage your time, eliminate procrastination, stop being late,
prioritize like a pro. Get your paper under control, create a more effective
filing system, motivate yourself to get and stay organized. You'll find it all,
and more in my book, Finally Organized, Finally Free!
For
a full description, visit: http://www.getorganizednow.com/newbook.html
Salt
has more than 14,000 known uses. Americans each consume more than 16 tons of
salt during their lifetimes, 402 pounds a year for each living American.
All
animals, humans included, require what salt is made of (sodium and chloride)
for life and health. Since the body cannot manufacture either, they are
"essential" nutrients.
Throughout
history, trade in salt was very important. So much so that salt was valuable
enough to be used as currency. The word has been carried down the ages into the
English word "salary".
Food
storage is vital for any society. In ancient times, salt (or the lack of it)
could drastically affect the health of entire populations. Today, with
refrigeration and effective transportation, the problem seems rather trivial,
but before the 19th century, effective storage often made the difference
between life and death.
For
4,000 years, we have known that salt intakes can affect blood pressure through
signals to the muscles of blood vessels trying to maintain blood pressure
within a proper range. Salt maintains the electrolyte balance inside and
outside of cells.
A
minority of the population can lower blood pressure by restricting dietary
salt. Elevated blood pressure, "hypertension," is a well-documented
marker or "risk factor" for cardiovascular events like heart attacks
and strokes, a
"silent killer."
Most
of our salt comes from foods, some from water. All culinary salts are derived
by evaporation.
Table
salt is made by driving water into a salt deposit (in a mine). This process
forms brine which is then evaporated leaving dried "cube-like crystals
that look like granulated sugar." The salt is then refined.
Kosher
salt is made in a similar fashion except the brine is raked continually during
the evaporation process. The resulting product has a light and flaky texture.
Sea
salt is evaporated sea water. Sea salt has trace amounts of minerals not found in mined salt.
5. Metaphor
Thanks Irene Colville
The
allegory of the Frog ... Lesson of
Life
Once upon a time there was a race of frogs 
The goal was to reach
the top of a high tower. 
Many people gathered to see
and support them.
The race began.
In reality, the
people probably didn’t believe that it was possible that the frogs could reach
the top of the tower, and all the phrases that one could hear were of this kind :
"What pain !!!
They’ll never make it!"
The frogs began to resign, except for one who kept on climbing
The people continued :
" What pain !!! They’ll never
make it."
And the frogs admitted defeat, except for the frog who continued
to insist.
At the end, all the frogs quit, except the one who, alone and with
an enormous effort, reached the top of the tower.
The others wanted to
know, how he did it.
One of them approached him to ask him how he had done it - to finish the race.
And discovered that he was deaf!
Never listen to people who have the bad habit of being negative...
because they steal the best aspirations of your heart!
Always remind yourself of the power of the words that we hear or
read.
That’s why, you always have to think positive
POSITIVE !
Conclusion:
Always be deaf to someone who tells you that you can’t and won’t
achieve your goals or make your dreams come true.
6. Finding
the
You can find at least two ways to
look at virtually everything. A pessimist looks for difficulty in the opportunity,
whereas an optimist looks for opportunity in the difficulty.
A poet of long ago put the
difference between optimism and pessimism this way: "Two men looked out
from prison bars. One saw mud, the other saw stars."
Unfortunately, many people look only
at the problem and not at the opportunity that lies within the problem. Many
employees complain about the difficulty of their jobs, for example, not
realizing that if the job were simple the employer would hire someone with less
ability at a lower wage.
A small coin can hide even the sun
if you hold the coin close enough to your eye. So when you get too close to
your problems to think objectively about them, try to keep in mind how your
vision can be obstructed, take a step back, and look at the situation from a
new angle. Look up instead of down.
Pessimism muddies the water of
opportunity. Think about this example: Anytime an innovation comes along
promising to make life easier and people more productive, someone always
complains that it will put people out of work.
When Eli Whitney invented the
cotton gin, protesters said that it would put thousands of people out of work.
Instead, the invention made the production of cloth much cheaper, and millions
of people could afford more clothing, which created countless jobs.
You can't do anything to change
the fact that a problem exists, but you can do a great deal to find the
opportunity within that problem.
You're guaranteed a better
tomorrow by doing your best today and developing a plan of action for the tomorrows
that lie ahead. Just remember to maintain a positive mental attitude so that,
as you plan for tomorrow, you're doing so with the sense of expectancy that
produces substantially better results.
Adapted from Zig's
book "Success For Dummies". Look for a copy
here http://tinyurl.com/a6bt - or at your favorite off-line bookstore.
Zig Ziglar offers a weekly newsletter filled
with more of his inspiring stories as well as practical ideas to help you in
the areas of sales, marketing, customer service, and related topics. You can
subscribe to his newsletter by going to http://www.zigziglar.com
Thanks
for the following contribution from
Inner
Strength
If
you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If
you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If
you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat
the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved
ones are too busy to give you time,
If
you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of
yours, something goes wrong,
If
you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If
you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If
you can conquer tension without medical help,
If
you can relax without liquor,
If
you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If
you can do all these things,
then . . . you are probably the family dog.
By
the way, even thought I honestly don’t know anything about art as such, I have
to say Freda’s work gives me goose bumps of pleasure. Please have a look at
some of her work at http://members.optusnet.com.au/~fredasurgenor
7.
Jokes
A
chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
With
her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. (Took me
ages to work this out!!)
The
short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Barbara
Walters did a story on gender roles in
She
returned to
"Land
mines", said the woman
thanks Marie-Pierre
8. Motivational RUTS AND GRAVES
The
difference between a rut and a grave is only a few feet! We like routine, but
change is often necessary. Especially when an attitude or a
behavior is standing in the way of a happy life. "If only I could
change this about me..." we may lament.
The
expression "turning over a new leaf" refers to the page of a book.
Just as the plot of a novel changes from page to page, people, too, can change
their lives! It is not only possible, but frequently necessary.
Why
have so many ancient cultures died? What happened to some of the world's great
civilizations, once alive with colors, people, music and ideas, that they are
nothing more today than a collection of stones visited by tourists and
historians?
The
answer, of course, is not the same the world over. But Arnold Toynbee, in his
work The Study of History (Oxford University Press, 1987), says that the great
lesson of history is this: civilizations that changed when confronted with
challenges thrived. Those that did not change died. The key to survival is
primarily about "change."
And what about us? What about you and me? It's good to accept
ourselves as we are, but when an unhealthy attitude or a destructive behavior
gets in the way, when we wish we could change something about ourselves, we had
better change. People who embrace change thrive; those who resist it die.
If
you have been waiting for a sign to make that needed change, this may be it.
George Eliot said, "It is never too late to be what you might have
been...." You can be happy. You can live fully.
Entrepreneur
Brian Tracy said, "Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim
of change." Begin making that necessary change today. Then tomorrow, and
every tomorrow thereafter, will truly be different.
This
reading is found in Steve Goodier's book A LIFE THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE http://lifesupportsystem.com/books.html
P.S.
I
would rather be ashes than dust!
I
would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than
it should be
stifled by dry rot.
I
would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent
glow, than a
sleepy and permanent planet.
The
proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I
shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time. -- Jack
London,
Without Adam’s
unstinting help and professional support this newsletter would not be, he
also looks after our website www.hypnotherapy.net.au
, www.asch.com.au and is just taking on www.IIPM.org.au - Thankyou.
Music
on this newsletter is "wishforhappiness.mid"
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Thank
you for reading my newsletter - I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I
enjoy putting it together for you. May you attain all your goals and reach your
dreams with a well balanced, fulfilling life! I wish you good health, happiness
and success in all you strive to achieve!
Let's start an epidemic of achievers and cheerful people!!
Request
I would like to make this a good fun read, so if any of you have any
suggestions/contributions please, please let me know. Credit will be
given to any contributors. I intend to put it out every 2 weeks. (The God of
computer land willing.) Please FORWARD this on to everyone you can think of and
feel free to copy whatever you want.
64 Shaw Street
Kingsgrove NSW 2208
Phone/Fax 02 95543350
www.hypnotherapy.net.au Email: briggs@hypnotherapy.net.au
J.