Welcome to Newsletter Number 26
Quotes and Jokes, Plus Anything Else I Find That I
Think You Might Find Useful.
You will receive a fortnightly
dose of motivation, inspiration, laughter and thought-provoking quotes. If you
find yourself bogged down in our competitive, stressful work world, take a few
minutes to read and then think about the positive messages you will receive.
In this issue:
- Inspirational Quotes
- Find of the week
- Wild Trivia
- Metaphor
- Affirmations
- Jokes
- Motivational
- Our beautiful CD’s have arrived!!!!!!!!
Proud photos can be seen at www.SelfDevelopment.biz
You have one shot at today. Use it to
learn, love and laugh!
1.
Inspirational Quotes
Wise men
and philosophers throughout the ages have disagreed on many things, but many
are in unanimous agreement on one point: "We become what we think
about."
Ralph
Waldo Emerson said: "A man is what
he thinks about all day long."
The Roman
emperor Marcus Aurelius put it this way:
"A man's life is what his thoughts make of it."
In the Bible we find: "As a man thinks in his heart, so is
he."
"The shortest
distance between two points is under construction." -Noelie Altito
"I
know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not
sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Robert
McCloskey, State Department spokesman
"There
is perhaps nothing so bad and so dangerous in life as fear."- JAWAHARLAL
NEHRU
"Fear
is that little darkroom where negatives are developed." -MICHAEL PR1TCHARD
************************************************
2. Find
of the week Zen and the Art of Error Messages thanks Maureen Lawson
In Japan, they have replaced the
impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages.
Haiku poetry has strict construction rules - each poem has only three lines,
made up of a total of 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the
second, 5 in the third.
They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.
Here are 15 actual error messages from Japan that are the essence of
Zen. Aren't these better than "your computer has performed an illegal
operation"?
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and
reboot.
Order shall return.
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of
Death.
No one hears your
screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar
screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching
comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not
found.
The Tao that is seen
- Until You bring fresh toner-
Is not the true Tao.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your
ire.
The network is down.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are
certain:
Death, taxes and lost
data.
Guess which has
occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved
on.
This page is not here.
Having been erased,
The document you're
seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have
disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
3. Wild
Trivia
How to
look after and pick a good Christmas Tree
* Always
choose a freshly cut tree. To test a tree, strike the stump down on a firm
surface. If needles fall off, the tree is too dry.
* Consider
buying a live tree instead. You can plant it later to enjoy it for years to
come.
* When you
are ready to set the tree up cut off 1/2 to 1 inch from the bottom of the tree
before placing in the stand, which should be filled with hot water (not boiling,
but around 130-160º F) as soon as the tree is set up.
* The tree
could absorb as much as a gallon of water the first day.
* Use wire
or nylon cord to secure the tree to the wall or ceiling to prevent it from
being knocked over by children or pets
* Place
the tree away from heat sources and, of course, from sparks and open flame.
* Always
keep the tree well watered. Check and refill often.
* Use only
non-combustible decorations.
* Check
and replace any worn or damaged light sets. It is a good practice to replace
any set that is more that four or five years old.
* Use only
U.L. or F.M. approved light strings; spot or floodlights should only be used on
an artificial tree; NO CANDLES!
* Avoid
overloading electrical circuits or creating "octopus" connections.
* Do not
use cellophane. There is no way to make it flameproof.
* Treat
trees with a Fire Marshal approved flame retardant.
* Do not
use cotton batting -- including Santa's whiskers - or paper decorations unless
they have been treated with a flame-retardant treatment.
*
Disconnect the lights at bedtime or when unattended
* Use
miniature lights that produce less heat.
* Make
sure there in an operational smoke detector installed nearby.
* Remove
discarded wrappings and packages from the house immediately and never burn them
in the woodstove or fireplace - it could cause a chimney fire.
* Do not
burn tree branches in the fireplace - it could throw off a large amount of heat
and cause a fire. Christmas trees also cause oily soot, which may damage the
fireplace.
So there
you are...all the info to buy the tree. When you set it up, give it at least 24
hours in place BEFORE you start to decorate. This is a really good tip. The
branches will rest into its true shape and you will have a better-looking tree
when you are done.
TOP
OXYMORONS
Legally
drunk, Exact estimate, Act naturally, Found missing, Resident alien, Genuine
imitation, Airline food, Good grief, Government organization, Sanitary
landfill, Alone together, Small crowd, Business ethics, Soft rock, Military
intelligence, Sweet sorrow, Compassionate conservative, "Now, then
...", Passive aggression, Clearly misunderstood, Peace force, Extinct
life, Plastic glasses, Terribly pleased, Computer security, Political science,
Tight slacks, Definite maybe, Pretty ugly, Working vacation.
And the
No. 1 oxymoron: Microsoft Works
4. Metaphor
Once upon a
time the colours of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were
the best. The most important. The most useful. The favourite.
Green said:
"Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was
chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would die. Look
over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority."
Blue interrupted:
"You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is
the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep
sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would
all be nothing."
Yellow chuckled:
"You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into
the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, and the stars are yellow.
Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me
there would be no fun."
Orange started next to blow her trumpet:
"I am the colour of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am
precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important
vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't
hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my
beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you."
Red could stand it no longer he shouted out:
"I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the colour
of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into
the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the colour
of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."
Purple rose up to his full height:
He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the colour of royalty
and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign
of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."
Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the
others, but with just as much determination: "Think of me. I am the colour
of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I
represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for
balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."
And so the
colours went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their
quarrelling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of
bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down
relentlessly. The colours crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another
for comfort.
In the
midst of the clamour, rain began to speak:
"You foolish colours, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate
the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique
and different? Join hands with one another and come to me."
Doing as
they were told, the colours united and joined hands.
The rain
continued:
"From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a
great bow of colour as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The Rainbow
is a sign of hope for tomorrow." And so, whenever a good rain washes the
world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one
another.
5. The 10
Rules of the Subconscious Mind
"There
is only one journey. Going inside yourself." - Rainer Maria Rilke
Our
subconscious mind exerts a powerful influence over our lives. It preserves and
runs the body. It stores and organizes memories, emotions and energy. It
controls and maintains all of our perceptions. Over 95% of what we do, think
and say comes from old programming in our subconscious mind.
Unless you
make a conscious effort to direct the immense power of your subconscious, its
robotic and limited programs will run your life. It will sabotage your best
intentions. And yet, it's not difficult to work with the subconscious. You just
have to know what you're doing.
Here are a
few things you should know about the subconscious:
1. Despite
its power, the subconscious is a servant of the conscious mind. It follows
orders by acting on whatever is fed to it. It cannot distinguish between what
is real and what is imagined. It has no sense of humour and takes everything
very literally. Your conscious mind is the gate-keeper. For personal power, you
must be aware of what you are allowing into the subconscious. And you can
intentionally program it to manifest what you want in life.
2. The
subconscious mind responds with instinct and habit. As thinking and behavioural
patterns deepen, they become habits and they become harder and harder to
change.
3. Use
repetition, authority and emotion to program the subconscious. Affirm and
visualize often what you desire. Be strong, wilful and in command. Draw on your
passion and emotional power to affirm what you want, as emotions have a very
strong impact on the subconscious mind.
4. The
subconscious mind does not process negatives. For this reason, all affirmations
and statements must be positive. Do not say, "I will not gain
weight." The 'not' is not recorded - the subconscious mind only hears
"I will gain weight."
5. The
subconscious represses memories with unresolved negative emotions. The memories
will get buried, yet the beliefs and feelings associated with them will still
control your reactions. This is why it is important to become aware of and
resolve strong guilt, resentment, fears, anger and depression.
6. The
subconscious mind works with symbols and metaphors. Watch your dreams closely
for symbols that will offer clues to underlying issues that need to be
resolved.
7. It
takes everything personally. It keeps a photocopy of everything. Whenever you criticize,
resent, judge and project negative thoughts and feelings onto others, you
experience the negativity as your own.
8. The
subconscious works on the principle of least effort. It follows the path of
least resistance. Without purposeful direction from our conscious mind, it
follows the easiest, usually more negative path of our engrained habits.
9. It has
a need to be moral. The subconscious mind is also the source of a higher aspect
of yourself. This God force, Soul energy or whatever you want to call it
supports your evolution towards love, unity, beauty and truth. Consciously
working with the subconscious opens us to higher levels of wisdom and love.
10. It
knows only the present time. There is no future or past in the subconscious
mind. All stored experiences are processed as NOW. Know that the past affects
you NOW, as the subconscious replays past programming in the present. So affirm
in the now, not in the future. And understand that you have the power right now
to re-write sabotaging programs from the past so you can claim a better future.
The
Initiation teaches us how to direct the immense power of the subconscious mind.
We learn to revamp old, limited programs so they realign with the higher powers
available to us.
"When
you choose to understand the workings of your own mind and choose to exercise
control over the functions and attributes of your own mind, you will be
empowered to create your own reality, to be completely self-reliant and totally
prosperous." - Delfin Knowledge System http://www.totransformyou.com
- Jokes
A string walks into a bar with a few
friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't
serve strings here." The string walks away a little upset and sits down
with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a
beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we
don't serve strings here."
So the string goes back to his table. Then
he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair.
Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says,
"Hey, aren't you a string?"
And the string says, "Nope, I'm a
frayed knot."
Hello?
Is this the fire department?"
"Yes."
"Listen, my house is on fire! You've got to come right away! It's
terrible!"
"Okay, how do we get to your house?"
"……………………Aahhhhhhhhhh………..You don't have those big red trucks
anymore?"
A patient tells his
psychiatrist, "Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."
The doctor replies, "Come now, pull yourself together."
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is definitely not for
you.
The skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me
a beer and give me a mop."
thanks
Peter Watson
8.
Motivational
"LIFE
AND LAUNDRY” by Robin L. Silverman
Everything
you need to know about renewing your life and reviving your spirit you can
learn from your laundry.
First,
laundry does not do itself. If you try to kick it under the bed or hide it in
your closet, all you get is a smelly room. If you try to avoid your problems,
they start to smell, too.
Second,
remember that hot water makes things shrink and fade. Warm or cool water keeps
them fresh. This is true when your spouse is angry at you, too.
Many
stains don't come out the first time. Sometimes they never do. So choose: wear
them anyway, make up a great story about how you got the stains, or cut up the
clothes and use them as rags to wash your car. This is also true with your
life. When people or situations get stained, things may have to be transformed
or seen in a new light if you don't want to discard them.
As you're
doing laundry, listen. When the machine sounds like it's an African tribe playing
the drums, your load is off-balance. If you don't stop the machine and
redistribute the load, you'll end up with a huge repair bill or having to buy a
new washer altogether. The same is true with your body. If you overload it
without rebalancing, it’ll cost you.
Always do
your laundry between other tasks. Never make it your first priority, or you'll
find that while you were working, your family went outside to play and you
missed all the fun.
Bright
clothes look great in the store, but if you don't bathe them in cool water,
they'll bleed all over everything. The same is true for flashy cars, killer
relationships and deals that sound too good to be true. Acquire them if you
like, but keep some cold water nearby, just in case.
Yes, socks
do wash out to sea. This is one of life's great mysteries, but it is true. You
put them in as a pair, but they come out single. Sometimes relationships work
out this way, too.
Mend rips
and tears before a good machine scrubbing makes them worse. Do this, too, with
broken hearts, especially those of children. Nicks are relatively easy to
repair. Harsh words and punishments might make them fall apart altogether.
When you
can, hang your laundry in the sunshine. Fresh air and a warm day can do wonders
for just about anything, including your own spirit.
Finally,
as you get older, realize that a new washing machine isn't going to make your
clothes come out any cleaner. It just costs more than your old one. Ask anyone
who's divorced.
In
conclusion, remember that life is a lot like laundry. Just when you think you're done, you find another pair of socks
or end up using your last clean towel to wipe off the dog's paws. Don’t worry.
The Laundromat’s open seven days a week.
8. Our beautiful CD’s & Guidebooks have arrived!!!!!!!!
Proud photos can be seen at www.SelfDevelopment.biz Our year of
work has paid off, Gary and I are the proud to show off the results of our
efforts. We are offering 20% off to
anybody who buys from this email. Think about it for that ‘hard to buy for’
person for a Christmas present.
We have incorporated
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Guidebooks, to produce lasting positive change. You can change your life
quickly & easily for the better, in just minutes! And with our no risk 30
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Music on this newsletter is “ let it
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Thank you for reading my newsletter - I hope you enjoy reading this as much as
I enjoy putting it together for you. May you attain all your goals and reach
your dreams with a well balanced, fulfilling life! I wish you good health,
happiness and success in all you strive to achieve!
Let's start an epidemic of achievers and
cheerful people!!
Request
I would like to make this a good fun read,
so if any of you have any suggestions/contributions please, please let me know.
Credit will be given to any contributors. I intend to put it out every 2 weeks.
(The God of computer land willing.) Please FORWARD this on to everyone you can
think of and feel free to copy whatever you want.
Lyndall Briggs - Kingsgrove Hypnosis & Counselling Centre
64 Shaw Street
Kingsgrove NSW 2208
Phone/Fax 02 9554 3350
www.hypnotherapy.net.au Email: briggs@hypnotherapy.net.au